Dream Journal
by sk8ordie237
Summary: Armin records his nightmares while trying to get through normal High School life. [Modern!AU]
1. Entry 1

My therapist told me that it would be a good idea to have one of these so I guess I might as well try it. I guess an introduction is order then. My name is Armin Arlert, I'm from Sina, Kansas, I am 15 years old, top of my class, and I have two best friends named Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman. And for the past five years of my life I have been having these terrible nightmares.

Always of these gigantic naked human looking things with sharp teeth, devouring, crushing, and disemboweling everyone in what looks like my hometown surrounded by huge wall. They make me too afraid to fall asleep, always with me waking up screaming thinking that I'll be next. We don't know what causes it, my therapist thinks that it might have something to do with the fact that I've been bullied just about my whole life.

The last nightmare I had was last night. I was talking with Eren and Mikasa, and we all decided that we were going to join the Military. I don't know if that's supposed to be me being nervous about tomorrow being the first day of the school year, after hearing that we have a lot of new people I am kind of worried about it. But should it really be that bad? I have a bad feeling about tonight, and I hope that it's nothing like when those giant things killed everyone.

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><p>Sorry for this being so short, I'm trying to get back into writing so hopefully this isn't too bad! I also really hope I'm tagging this correctly, I've never used FanFictions site before!<p> 


	2. Entry 2

A/N: I want to try to get these out once per week but no promises

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><p>I had one of my dreams last night, and it kind of freaked me out. In it we were all standing in a line with -who I can only assume was a drill instructor- yelling at us, and he singled me out specifically at one point. Normally I wouldn't really think all that much of it all things considered, but then it got weird. As in I met people from my dream to day. Four kids were singled out in my dream last night named Connie, Sasha, Marco, and Jean. And today, I met all of them in class; Connie, Marco, and Jean I met in gym class (with our gym teacher who looked an awful lot like the guy in my dream) and Sasha I met in the cafeteria during our lunch period when she was trying to get some of my food. They're all pretty nice, even if Jean is an asshole at times but, something about this is really unsettling<p>

When it was just me, Mikasa, and Eren I wasn't all that worried really, it's normal for friends to worry about each other (my therapist even told me so!). But these are complete strangers, people who I haven't even heard of until today! Speaking of new people, there was a girl that I haven't met yet new to our town, I saw her in my dream last night too. Maybe she's important? I'll introduce myself to her tomorrow, we have the same third hour. Here's hoping for a night of peaceful sleep and mental recovery!


	3. Entry 3

Sorry for how long this chapter took to get out, I'm going to try to get these out every Tuesday but this has been a bit of a crazy week for me. Remember how I said that this will get a bit minor shippy? welllll this is one of those moments. Hope you enjoy!

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><p>Last night was surprisingly peaceful, I had a dream about Eren and Jean getting into some argument over something stupid which ended with Jean getting knocked on his ass. Speaking of getting knocked onto their ass's, Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dumb, and Tweedle Dumber thought that it would be funny to mess with me at school today. Mikasa and Eren shut that shit right the fuck down, it was kind of funny not going to lie really wished I filmed it. Anyways onto figuring out what the hell these dreams are about.<p>

I had a nice chat with Annie today, quite a lovely person once you get past her whole "grrr, i'll kill you" thing she has going on. And oh my gosh Dream Journal I think i'm in love. She's smart and nice and cute and-

_illegible scribbles dot the page_

Whoops, got a little bit carried away there. Anyways, it turns out she has two brothers but, they're both adopted. Reiner Braun and Betholdt Fubar, both are pretty nice people and I recognized them from my dreams. And I just realized how creepy this entry sounds. Wrapping up time.

All that I could find out from her was that they came from out of town after the three of them got kicked out of school for something, she wouldn't say what, kind of mysterious but thats what we are in this for right Journal? To solve the mystery of my lack of self confidence and self-hate brought on by years of torment by my peers, lacking friends to the point where the only people who are willing to talk to me are outcast themselves or who don't even know me.

And with that, I leave you for the night my only friend able of assisting me on stopping my slow path to insanity. Goodnight.


	4. Entry 4

Today was kind of interesting so I guess i'll just get the dream thing out of the way. We trained. Literally thats it. You know, normally I hope that it's nothing frightening or anything but really, that is the most boring dream i've had in years. Anyways, on to something funny - Jean getting mad at Eren for no real reason!.

Now, Mikasa likes Eren. Like _a lot_. Now Eren -bless his soul- is a complete idiot. So he has no idea. Everyone but him can tell that she's into him. It's cringe worthy sometimes, I really am half tempted to just forcefully yank them towards each other and just scream 'KISS YOU DAMN IDIOTS'. So anyways, Jean awkwardly tries to flirt with Mikasa, and she ends up ignoring him completely. Whenever he seen her following Eren like a lost puppy, he completely lost his shit. I really wish I would've recorded it, could've easily had my 15 minutes of youtube fame.

I also had a chance to talk with the lovely Miss Leonhardt (3) again. We got paired up in a group thanks to Mrs. Zoe, and I swear that she knows. For the entire period she was just kind of sitting there smiling at me with the biggest shit-eating grin I have ever seen. Weirdest Biology teacher i've ever seen not going to lie. Kind of creeps me out sometimes but she is an obvious bro and I can respect that. So after that class where I was trying my hardest to not sound like some kind of freak, which is easy said than done, I went to gym and immediately felt like dieing. Shadis is an asshole who gets his kicks by making teenagers hate life in general. Now i'm a small pale skinny kid whose best quality is his brain. I AM NOT MADE FOR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY! It was awful journal, just awful! If we have to do the same stupid borderline military session in gym again, i'm going to kill someone. Most likely Eren, because no matter what I know its going to be because of him.

God damn it Eren. Anyways, I should be getting to bed, goodnight journal~


	5. Entry 5

Strangely enough I didn't dream last night. Every dream that I've had since I was a little kid I could remember, many of them I still can. But with last night I remember closing my eyes and then hearing my alarm. I wonder why, could this be helping? I don't feel any different but, it's the only logical explanation. I'll have to make sure to let my therapist know about this, he might think it could mean something.

Today was also the first time I've had a run in with Vice Principal Levi, and I have never been more afraid of a Napoleon Bonaparte wannabe than I was today. Hell, I think Napoleon was taller than him. Journal, let me tell you about this little shit.

Levi Ackerman (possible relation to Mikasa?) is an ex-military turned High School Vice Principal, fear inducing psychopath. Who is only 5'3". The man instils nightmares into the wannabe hardasses that pollute the school. And oh my god do I hope I could be like him some day. For real, this man is fucking awesome. Minus the whole possible murderer thing, but then again my best friends are Eren and Mikasa, and those two need therapy more than me. Though with Eren it's more of anger management. You know, he once blew up over someone taking the last chocolate milk in Middle School? And Mikasa, anyone even lays a finger on Eren and she breaks it off and feeds it to them. Anally. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Levi.

I also think he's dating Miss. Zoe, which I can respect not only is she a maximum bro, but she does have a damn nice booty. It's not my fault alright, she was helping some kid next to me, and bent down, and has a tendency to always be moving. I look up and see it shaking in my face and i'm pretty sure Reiner started laughing. Fuck you Reiner you roid monkey.

I think that Reiner knows that I like his sister too, he kept on bringing her up when we were talking together. If someone knows, they need to just say it because I swear to god if another person teases me about it, I will shove a pinecone up their urethra.

And with that, I leave you for the night. Goodnight~


	6. Entry 6

So this week has been crazy thats for sure. New school, new friends, and new fears. But hey, I made it through it this time didn't I? Grandpa always said Arlerts' where survivors, but I think he was talking in more of a military way then a high school way. Hopefully i'll be able to hang out with Eren and Mikasa during this weekend after my appointment with my therapist. He wants me to bring this tomorrow says 'It's apart of the healing process Armin.' Better not bring up Annie, you hear me you blunt S.O.B? Stick to the dreams.

Speaking of Annie, we had another amazing encounter today, where in I wooed her with my "charm". And by charm I mean awkwardly fidgeting and trying to compliment her. Let's count what Annie Leonhardt is shall we? Beautiful, smart, clever, strong, and rivaling Mikasa in intimidation. Is this what it's like to be everybody else? Also Mikky totally knows, Annie walked into our class to grab something and she just pulled Eren and I closer to her and stared. Not gonna lie, kinda uncomfortable. This is what it's like being property isn't it? Damn you Mikasa, you fucking war goddess.

Her and Levi are related apparently. Brother and sister in fact. AND SHE DIDN'T TELL ME. I'VE KNOWN HER LONGER THAN EREN HAS. MIKKY WHAT THE FUCK? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING?! I need new friends.

No horrors to speak of last night either, just Eren and Jean making fools of themselves trying to one-up each other. Kind of weird to be honest, Nothing traumatizing for the past few days, even when the trauma is ripe for the picking. But fuck it I guess, you know what they say right? Never look a gift Jean in the mouth. That horse-faced prick.

Goodnight journal~

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><p><strong>Quick heads up, time is going to jump around a bit soon<strong>

**I really want to be able to write chapters with Armin as something like a Senior or Junior, but I don't want this story to overstay its welcome either so, keep an eye on the titles of the Entry for passings of time**

**I'll also be sure to say when time does change.**


	7. Entry 7

The session with Rico went about as well as expected. Talk about how my week went, laugh at my screw ups, and finally talk about my dreams. Pretty routine really. And that's why I hate them. Now, that's not to say I don't like order, and a routine schedule, quite the opposite really, I'm one of those people who hates school projects where we have to come up with something on our own instead of the teachers just assigning a powerpoint presentation. But when this is what I do every Saturday, of every week, never changing, it starts to feel monotonous and one starts to go a bit crazy. I really can't blame Rico for it, she's just doing her job and trying to help me with well, everything. But still. When I first started going to my therapy sessions it was such a different experience, I had a pretty funny (and kind of cute) therapist, I started doing all these different things to help myself (most of which i've stopped doing now, since they're not really working). It was something new. Now it's just "Hi Armin, you look like shit, just tell me some shit thats been happening so we can both get out of here."

But I digress, and with that little rant out of the way, let's get onto what happened in todays events! And I just realized how much I talk to myself in these entries. This is why i'm single. Anywho, Mikasa stayed at my place for the night. Not your average "Hey, is cool if I spend the night here?" but more of "Sup motherfucker, guess who ain't leavin." Why she never sleeps at her own house, the world may never know. During her stay here, I _may _of let my crush on Annie slip out. Now Mikky is many things. She's kind, compassionate, an Asian war goddess, and apparently a hater of happiness. According to her Annie shouldn't be trusted, and never gave me a reason as to why, just said "it's a gut feeling."

I think she is just jealous that I found another war goddess, and now they need to fight for the 'Who is the strongest among mortal men.' It will be a fight for the ages I tell you!

Shit, I think I just woke Mikasa up, goodnight journal!

Wait, forgot to talk about dreams: Nothing of interest happened.

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><p><strong>I don't want to jump ahead quite yet, and I personally love it when Mikasa and Armin are bros<strong>

**I made a slight change to the previous chapter that changes Armin therapist from Erwin to Rico, just because I love Rico and more should be done with her.**


	8. Entry 8

So my dream last night was interesting to say the least. In it I had a talk with Annie, all about things like morals and how much of a human concept 'evil' is. We brought up how in nature, animals don't follow some moral jurisdiction as to what is 'good' and what is 'bad', and it really got me thinking. Just what is "good person"? Humans try so hard to label not only themselves, but each other by what they believe. We imprison those who do not follow what we think is right, and yet we never question why. So often the ones who deserve to be punished go free while those who have done nothing wrong can be treated like animals. Why do we as a species try to put ourselves much higher than everything else? We always try to make many of our own kind so much farther below ourselves for idiotic reasons. Gender, race, religion, sexual preference all things people are treated like less than human for seemingly no reason. Something for me to think about I guess. One thing's for certain, these dreams mean something, I can feel it.

So after Mikasa and myself woke up we did what we normally did. Enjoyed ourselves. I love Eren to death really, the man is my best friend trust him with my life, but sometimes all I really need is just a silent companion who doesn't constantly radiate rage. Seriously, that kid is fucked up. I remember one time he threatened to quite literally stab somebody if they didn't leave Mikasa alone, and Eren doesn't make void threats. I worry about him sometimes, you know? Of course you don't, you're paper with streaks of graphite on it. God I need more friends.

After or normal little silent moments, filled with the two of us reading and trying to get a bit of homework done, we decided to grab Eren and just go somewhere, didn't really matter where so we just kind of started walking. Sina is one of those places in Kansas that is somehow a mixture of a country town and a city town, with many of your typical members of both living there. You have your back water hicks who still think it's the 30s and your white people trying to be black. There's no other way to put, i've tried to explain it to people out of state before but it always comes back to the same stereotype that -thanks to things in the mainstream- has trickled into the minds of many people as to what's cool and what isn't. "Respecting women? What are you gay," the media will say "if you keep doing that you'll be stuck being treated like a friend, now man up and treat her like shit."

Ah yes, the friendzone that mythical thing that many people seem to think exists because they think they are entitled to something by being nice to someone. As a personal favorite comedian of mine says "There's no such thing as the friendzone, you're just a little bitch."

Not much happened after we went on our little adventure, we ran into some friends and then returned to our homes to start another day anew, filled with more monotonous nonsense.

Goodnight journal.

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><p><strong>With this chapter I wanted to give Armin a bit more of a serious side, not everything is all laughs but i'll make sure not to make these too common.<strong>

**And yes, I totally imagine Armin liking Filthy Frank, get on my level nurd**


	9. Entry 9

Didn't really dream about much last night, besides the now regular training sessions that we do, and for once I _really _felt how bad they were. Normally when I dream I just catch them at the very end, but no not this time, this time I was right from the start. And my god it was terrible, I was just dreaming and I felt like dieing. I knew that Shadis is satan himself, but I didn't think it would be _that_ bad. It seemed so routine though, like I already knew that was happening. If only I were a lucid dreamer, life would be much easier I think. Outside of that, not much really happened, which I would be glad about if it didn't have my nerves on edge. I haven't experienced anything traumatic in a week, which is an extremely jarring change from the nightly terrors I had. Maybe this is helping? I mean, before I started doing this I didn't really talk to anyone about my dreams, I always figured I would just be made fun of. Who knows, maybe they'll all go away soon.

School was extremely boring today, and thats coming from one of the few teenagers who like school. I always expected high school to be this big change, when in all actuality it's hardly different than middle school. It's still give or take the same people, the same immature assholes, and the same cliques. The only real change is the amount of homework that gets assigned, and even then it's hardly a change. I don't know, I expect different I guess, don't know why though. Maybe movies and tv shows have completely distorted my view on somethings, like how in college it seems to be that everyone is some party addict when I highly doubt thats true. Maybe I've just hit some point where I want change so badly I'll grasp at anything to change it.

These entries seem to be getting more and more depressing, which I don't even know why. I mean realistically, my life is pretty good minus a few things. I have friends and family who care about me, I've always gotten pretty good grades, and not to toot my own horn but I am pretty smart. Maybe I should talk to Rico about it, I just don't want anyone to worry about me. Ever since I was born all I've done is feel like a burden to everyone around me, for fucks sake I can't even defend myself from a couple of bullies. I'm just sick of people I care about worrying about me.

Fuck it, i'm just going to go to bed. Goodnight Journal, I hope this doesn't become a regular occurrence.

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><p><strong>I saw a slight error in the last chapter, so I fixed it.<strong>

**Trying to make this slightly more serious, instead of just constant jokes**

**Keep an eye out for sometime this week, I kind of want to write a Lazy day chapter that goes through an after school day for Armin**

**Thanks for all the kind words in the reviews, and the follows and favorites that this has been getting, I hope I don't disappoint in the future!**


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